i hate parents meet. and i hate it to the core.

i was thinking about it in school, and my feelings got total control over me. i couldnt control those tears just thinking how bad it would be after parents meet. it's alright, i dont think many would understand how i feel, cos seriously i think your parents understand you better than how my parents understand me. but still thanks you all for caring.

it's really really appreciated and just knowing that i've got friends like you all being there for me makes me feel blessed.


i love you all :)



and i keep on wondering, am i your shame? your disappointment? because i'm in normal acad means that i'm stupid? because i'm from normal acad means that you've no face to tell everyone about my studies or results or rather anything about me? because i'm from normal acad thats why you think that everything is easy. because i'm from normal acad means that i've wasted ONE year compared to those in express/special? and because i WAS from sngs means that i always MUST be top in class/level. expecting me to get a fucking A1 for all the subjects. just because i've got a really smart older bro&sis means that i MUST be the same as them. you keep telling me dont compare. but look who's talking. YOU ARE the one comparing. so i guess, it's cos i'm from normal acad, thats why you never ever will treat me like the
rest. because i bring you SHAME.

do you even know how tough it is? do you still think that this is as easy as your time? have you ever EVER considered how i felt? do you even know what i'm going thru? to you everything is result, results and results. and if it's bad it means that i've no future. it means that i'm brainless and hopeless and stupid. anyway, i could never make you proud cos my results will never ever please you. its never good enough for you. NEVER good enough for you.


what do i do now? i feel like just ending it all at one shot.

fuck

4:42 PM